


If You Give a Chav a Cookie

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Baker Merlin, M/M, Meet-Cute, chav Eggsy Unwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24442315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Eggsy literally falls through the door of The Magic Kitchen and also falls hard for its owner, a kind bald Scot named Merlin.The feeling is apparently mutual.And Eggsy doesn't even really like sweets.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Percival, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 35
Kudos: 204





	If You Give a Chav a Cookie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Birdie_Castellan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdie_Castellan/gifts).



> Yes, I KNOW they're called 'biscuits' in Great Britain, but the title didn't flow as well. For those of you who don't know, there is a series of children's books in the US called the "If You Give" series. The very first book is "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," followed by "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" and "If You Give a Pig a Pancake." I was falling asleep the other night and for some reason "If You Give a Chav a Cookie" flew into my head and I knew I had to write around it.
> 
> This strange long piece of sloppy fluff is dedicated to the 21st birthday of the very sweet, very talented Birdie_Castellan. Happy birthday, darling! I hope everything is sweet and full of sprinkles for you today!!
> 
> Also, rating is only Teen because of language.

Eggsy doesn’t even really LIKE biscuits.

He doesn’t like sweets much in general. He’ll have cake for someone’s birthday, and ice cream doesn’t count, of course, but muffins, biscuits, shortbread…not a fan. So it’s by pure luck that he finds himself running from Rottie and his pack of mutts and darting into the first open door he sees.

Which just happens to be a sweet shop.

A bell tinkles merrily as Eggsy flies through the door, slams it, and leans against it, panting for breath. “Welcome to The Magic Kitchen,” a voice says from behind a large glass case. “May I help ye?”

Eggsy hurries across the room and all but ducks behind a display of boxed candies. “I…uh…” Eggsy keeps looking out the door and relaxes when he sees Rottie and two other men go running down the pavement. Only then does he glance behind the counter.

A tall bald man in his fifties looms over the panels of glass. He’s clad in a grey jumper, shirt and tie, and wears a pair of glasses that make him look like someone’s computer instructor. The glasses do accentuate the man’s beautiful hazel eyes, however. “Biscuits? Turnover? Scones?”

“I…uh…” Eggsy says again, removing his snapback and running a hand through his hair as he attempts to catch his breath. The least he can do is buy something from the bloke. He did thunder into his shop like a bat out of hell, after all. His eyes run over the case. “How about those?” He points to tiny round brightly-colored things with cream in the middle. Daisy would like those just because they were pink and purple.

“Macarons. An excellent choice. How many?”

“Uh…” Eggsy digs into his pocket and pulls out a few crumpled bills.

“We’re running a special today…overstock,” the man says, his voice thick with an attractive Scottish burr. “Buy one get two free.”

“You don’t look overstocked,” Eggsy say skeptically. “Don’t need charity.”

“Ye will be performing the charitable act by getting them out of my case, lad,” the man informs him.

“All right. I’ll take six. Two pink, two purple, one green, one yellow,” Eggsy decides.

“They’re sweet…I wouldn’t eat them all at once.”

“Nah, they ain’t for me. For my mum and little sis.”

“Ah…that makes quite the difference.” The man puts the plain sack away and instead pulls out a pretty little box with butterflies on the sides. He arranges the sweets on colored paper and ties the box with a ribbon.

“That…that weren’t necessary,” Eggsy whispers, blushing a bit.

“It most certainly is. These sorts of things are always necessary when it comes to mothers and little sisters.” The man rings up the sweets and Eggsy hands over his money. 

“Thanks,” he says, and the man nods. “This place new? I don’t remember it.”

“I’ve been here about four months…still drumming up business,” he says with a sigh. He goes into the case and hands Eggsy a scone. “No charge.”

“But I don’t…”

“Try it. If ye like it, tell people, and perhaps they will stop in.”

“Thanks.” Eggsy decides to be polite and nibbles at the edge of the scone. “Holy fuck,” he says. “That’s delicious.”

“Thank ye,” the man says proudly.

“Hey, you might get more business if you put one of those signs out front? The ones that fold up? You could advertise your two for one stuff out there.”

“That’s a wise idea. Thank you,” the man says.

“Okay, well, thanks, Mister…”

“Merlin.”

“Thanks, Mr. Merlin.”

“No, just Merlin.”

“Okay. Thanks, Merlin.” Eggsy opens the door.

“Lad?” Eggsy turns around. “Next time if ye need to escape into my shop, please dinnae slam the door.”

“Yes, Merlin. Sorry.” Eggsy turns red and darts out of the shop before he can say anything else.

“What is THAT?” Daisy says breathlessly as soon as she catches sight of the box on the table.

“Coat off, Daisy,” her mother orders. Daisy immediately removes her jacket and hugs it.

“What is THAT?” Daisy repeats.

Eggsy takes her little coat and hangs it up. “A special treat for you and Mum.”

“Can I keep the box?” Daisy asks, as Eggsy knew she would.

“Eggsy, why did you spend all that money on us?” Michelle asks, although she looks quite pleased.

“Stuff was on sale, swear down. Thought my girls deserved a bit of a pick-me-up,” Eggsy says with a grin. He can so rarely do little things like this. He’s almost glad he had to hide in that shop.

Daisy climbs up onto her chair and gets on her knees. “I’m five now, so I can open the ribbon, right?”

Eggsy chuckles. She’d turned five the week before, and now everything is either prefaced or ended with a sentence about being five. “Yeah, Dais, you can undo the ribbon.”

Daisy slowly pulls one end of the bow, unfolds the box and peels away the colored paper. “Ohhhhh,” she sighs. “Look. Are we supposed to eat them?”

“We are, but only if Mum says you can have one before dinner.”

“Just one,” Michelle says. “Since your brother got us such a fancy treat. And he’ll keep the rest in his room?”

“Yeah, Mum, no problem,” Eggsy says almost sadly. Not only will Dean eat the rest, but he’ll have a lot to say about Eggsy having money to burn.

It takes her almost ten minutes, but Daisy finally decides on a purple macaron. Michelle takes purple as well, and Eggsy takes the green. “Mmmm,” Daisy moans after her first bite. “It…it goes…”  
“It melts in your mouth,” Michelle helps. “You’re right, Daisy. My word, Eggsy, wherever did you find these?”

“New shop…just opened a few months back.” They’re a little too sweet for Eggsy’s taste, but he likes how dainty they are on his tongue. “Tried a scone as well, it was incredible, too.”

“I want more,” Daisy says. “I want a scone.”

“Well, maybe if you’re very good, I can pick up something else soon,” Eggsy promises.

“Maybe because I’m five I could have some special biscuits,” Daisy suggests.

Eggsy leans in and kisses her forehead. “Maybe. Just because you’re five.”

Eggsy hesitates outside the shop, biting his bottom lip as he actually looks at the storefront. The windows are decorated in bright colors, with pedestals of baked goods stacked like Greco-Roman columns. It’s silly, it’s garish, and it makes him smile…which he figures was the point anyway. He finally goes in.

His heart drops when he sees another man behind the counter. It’s not the bald man, it’s a posh-looking gent in a waistcoat and tie, dark hair perfectly styled. “May I help you, young man?”

“Well, I…I was looking for…” Eggsy swallows hard. “There was another bloke here a few days ago…bald? Uh…think his name was Merlin?”

“Ah.” The man smiles kindly. “Excuse me.” He darts into the back and quickly returns. “He will be along shortly. May I get you anything in the meantime?”

“No, thanks,” Eggsy says. He doesn’t even have the few bills this time. His pockets carry nothing but lint.

Merlin comes through the swinging door, dusting his hands off as he steps into the shop. “Christ, Harry, what is it? Ye made it sound like the bloody Queen herself was…oh.” Merlin’s handsome face curves into a smile. “Hello again. How did your mother and sister like their treat?”

Eggsy cannot believe Merlin even remembers that. “Hi. They…they loved it. My sister lost her shit over the box, has it on a shelf by her bed now.”

“And your mother? Did she enjoy them?”

“She really did. Said it made her feel like we was having fancy tea. Just…just wanted to tell you that,” Eggsy says, suddenly feeling like an idiot.

But Merlin looks pleased. “I’m so happy to hear that. It’s why we do what we do.”

“It’s definitely not because we wish to turn a profit, not with the prices you charge,” Harry mutters from behind the counter.

“Thank you, Harry. The raspberry scones are ready to go onto the cooling rack if ye’d be so kind. I have everything under control here.” Merlin gives him a smile and a glare. Harry continues to mutter under his breath as he goes into the back. “Best mates…ye know how they are.”

“I do,” Eggsy says, smiling as he thinks of Jamal. “So, uh, are you here like all the time?”

“Pretty much. We’re closed on Sundays, and I usually leave early on Tuesdays. I have Harry here to assist me, and his husband Percival comes in a few times a week to help clean and do the windows.”

“Yeah, those windows are aces. You can almost taste the sugar,” Eggsy says, and Merlin laughs.

“That’s what Harry said, but not so politely.” Merlin goes back behind the counter. “So…” He blinks. “I’m sorry, I haven’t asked your name.”

“Oh, it’s Eggsy. Eggsy Unwin. Well, Gary Unwin, but I hate Gary.”

“I understand all about that…Merlin is nae my given name, either.” He smiles at Eggsy, whose heart leaps a bit. Christ, the man is beautiful, even though it’s in an unconventional way. He’s never been able to talk about his feelings for men, never even able to act on it except once, with Ryan’s cousin from Scotland. They snogged behind the block of flats and for the first time Eggsy felt a hand on his dick that wasn’t his own. “What can I send along to your family today?”

“Oh, I can’t, I ain’t…that’s not why I came in,” Eggsy mumbles. “Just wanted to let you know how good that all was.”

“Did ye slam the door today?”

Eggsy blinks. “Uh, no.”

“Well, then, I’d say ye deserve a reward for good behavior.” Merlin winks at him and pulls out a different box this time. It’s covered with roses and has sleeves inside. “What is your sister’s name?”

“Daisy. She’s just turned five.”

“Daisy…oh, well, then.” Merlin returns the rose box under the counter and comes out with something else. The box is a pale yellow with wreathes of daisies around the edges. He goes to a different case at the end of the row and starts pulling out biscuits with tongs. Eggsy can only stare. He hadn’t see these items on his last visit. Rows and rows of beautifully decorated biscuits. People. Flowers. Animals. Merlin chooses two daisies, a cat, and a unicorn. “This is for your mother,” he says, selecting a beautiful red rose. “And for you.” Merlin winks as he picks up a biscuit actually decorated to look like a cracked egg. 

“Fucking hell,” Eggsy whispers.

“Yes. Harry does amazing work, doesn’t he? He has a very steady hand, is excellent with the decorating.”

“His husband decorates the shop, he decorates the biscuits, what do you decorate?” Eggsy asks.

“My very dull flat,” Merlin replies. 

“No, uh, wife?” Eggsy asks, and then turns red. What the hell is he doing?

“Nae,” Merlin says, tying the box with a yellow ribbon. “And more importantly…and sadly…no husband. At my age. At least that’s what my mam always says. She goes on and on about finding someone to look after me, and how she wants grandbabies. I have seven nieces and nephews, ye would think that was enough.”

“Your mother is a lovely woman. Quit talking about her,” Harry orders as he returns with a tray of scones. 

“Perfect timing, Harry.” Merlin wraps a scone in a bit of paper and hands it to Eggsy. “Warm from the oven.”

“I don’t…I can’t…”

“Tell three people ye know about the shop, Eggsy, and that will be quite enough,” Merlin says with a smile.

“But…”

“Go now, before Harry starts showing me the bank accounts,” Merlin whispers. Eggsy nods.

“Well, uh, thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Eggsy. Have a nice day.”

“You too,” Eggsy says.

“Will you STOP giving away product to every pretty face that comes in the door?” He hears Harry snap as he leaves the shop.

Daisy literally screams with delight when she sees the biscuits, making a sound that Eggsy swears dogs probably can hear. His mother is delighted as well, scolding him for spending money on them in such a manner. He doesn’t tell her that he didn’t spend anything. They manage to get the biscuits eaten and the box hidden before his stepfather gets home. He’d noticed the first box, of course, but Michelle made up a story about a friend giving her the little box for Daisy to play with.

Eggsy does more to find odd jobs here and there, enough to give Dean a few quid and shut him up. He manages to sneak out a tenner each time, putting away for visits to The Magic Kitchen. He’s been there four times, making sure to actually purchase something and please Harry. What pleases Merlin, however, is when Eggsy allows him to send along little treats for Daisy. “He’s always wanted children,” Harry confides to Eggsy on the fourth visit. “He’s adorable with his nieces and nephews. He loves spending time with little ones.”

What pleases Eggsy is looking at Merlin, simply watching how he moves, how his large hands deftly slide through the cases. It’s something he can never have, but it’s as pretty to look at as the window displays on the street.

“What’s this?” Dean glares at his family after all but falling through the door.

“Nothing, Dean, just having a snack.” Michelle quickly stands to greet him as Eggsy clears the pastries from the table. “Eggsy brought us a treat is all. Want a beer?”

“Just had a beer. Or two,” Dean says, weaving on his feet a bit. He turns to Eggsy. “Well, Muggsy, you fucking a baker or something?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Eggsy says with a sigh. He’s learned to just go along with Dean when he’s like this, no matter what he says.

“We don’t need fucking biscuits, Muggsy. We need money. Cold hard cash.” Dean picks up a puppy biscuit and crushes it in his hand.

“That was mine,” Daisy says morosely.

“What was that, brat?” Dean growls. 

Eggsy immediately slides between Daisy and her father. “Nothing, Dean, don’t listen to her. I’ll get you money, swear down. Lotsa money.”

“You better. If I find out you got money and ain’t been giving it to me…it won’t end well.” Dean shoves Eggsy so hard he hits the front door, the knob digging sharply into the small of his back. “Dinner, Michelle!” Dean flops onto the sofa and picks up the remote for the telly.

Eggsy looks up and down the street as he stands in front of The Magic Kitchen. It’s two in the morning and the pavement is deserted. A car or two goes driving by but otherwise the street is empty. It’s quiet and dark and the last place Eggsy wants to be. But he has to be here. He has to get the money for Dean, distract him from any thoughts of hurting his flower.

As nice as the shop is, Eggsy had noticed one flaw almost immediately. Next to no security. A lock and key on the door. No cameras. Nothing. It’s an old building, and Merlin more than likely didn’t want to disturb its attractive façade with anything like fancy locks or bars on the windows.

Eggsy looked up and down the street once more before pulling a few tools from his jacket pocket. It’s sad, really, how easily the door opens after just a few minutes of jiggling and poking. He shoves the tools back into his pocket, closes the door, and gets out his tiny flashlight. He has a feeling Merlin more than likely has a safe, and if it’s basic, he can crack it. He’s quite good at it, actually, although it’s not a talent he brags about.

Eggsy wanders through the dark shop and finds the safe below one of the glass cases. He squats down and just stares at the tiny dial. He doesn’t want to do this. He hates that he HAS to do it. Somewhere there are other young men of twenty-six who don’t have to rob shops. Somewhere there are young men who love their sisters and don’t need to steal from handsome Scottish men just to keep those sisters safe and fed. “I’m so sorry, Merlin,” Eggsy whispers to the dial on the safe. “I’ll find a way to pay you back, swear down.” He pulls a sack from his pocket, unfolds it, and starts working on the combination of the safe.

The knob finally turns with a satisfying click and the door swings open. Eggsy opens his sack and starts dropping piles of money into it. He’s quite angry with Merlin, if he’s being honest. Why hadn’t he taken this money to the bank? It shouldn’t be here in the shop where any young bastard can get his hands on it.

Eggsy hears the bell tinkle over the door and freezes. “I know you’re back there, boy. Stand up, hands where I can see them.”

Eggsy kicks the bag behind him and knees the safe door shut. He slowly stands and sees a policeman standing in front of him, gun drawn. “Oi, mate, what the fuck?”

“I should be asking you the same thing. What are you doing in a shop like this at half-two?”

“I work here,” Eggsy says quickly. He glances down and sees a set of keys on the register. “Forgot my keys, was stopping back to get them.”

“At half-two?”

“Can’t get in my flat, now can I? Was out for a pint, finally making my way home and realized I couldn’t get in.”

“I see,” the officer says skeptically.

Fucking filth, Eggsy growls to himself. “So, I’ll just be going then.”

“I don’t think so. Get out here…keep the hands up.” Eggsy slowly edges around the corner. Just as he reaches the policeman the room floods with light.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

Eggsy winces at the familiar Scottish burr. He slowly turns his head and sees Merlin standing with a cricket bat in his hand. He's wearing plaid sleep trousers and a faded blue vest. “Caught this bit of dirt robbing your register,” the officer says.

“Is that so.” Merlin calmly looks at Eggsy, who is currently wishing the ground would swallow him whole.

“Merlin, see, I can explain…”

“He says he works here…says he forgot his keys and came in to get them. I was walking by on my beat and saw him behind the register.” The officer finally lowers his gun. “Is that right? Does HE work HERE?”

Eggsy’s eyes close. This is it, then. Not only will he have hurt one of the few people who’s been nice to him in the last year (and one of the hottest men he’s ever met), but he’s going to jail. Simple as that. “Yes, sir. That is correct. Mr. Unwin does work here.” Eggsy’s eyes fly open and he stares at Merlin. “I saw the keys on the floor earlier, lad, and put them by the register so ye would see them tomorrow morning. I figured ye had a spare set or I would have called ye.”

“Oh, well, uh, thanks.”

“Thank you, Officer, for checking in and keeping our neighborhood safe,” Merlin says, leaning the cricket bat against the wall. “Please come in to the shop any time and enjoy a treat on the house.”

“Thank you, I think I will,” the officer says, looking around the shop. “Good night, then. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

“Ye absolutely did not. I live upstairs, heard the voices and came down to check things out.” Merlin walks him to the door and locks it behind him.

“Merlin, I’m so fucking sorry, swear down. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Eggsy says as soon as the lock clicks shut. “I didn’t know what to do, he said give him money or he’d…I had to find money and this was…”

“Quiet, lad, relax,” Merlin says softly. He puts a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder. “Let’s go upstairs for a cuppa.”

“The, uh, there’s a bag on the floor.” Eggsy shamefully points to the counter. “You might wanna put it away.”

“I’ll just bring it with me.” Merlin goes behind the case and grabs the sack. “Let’s go up.” He turns off the light in the shop and leads the way through the kitchen and up a set of stairs. He opens a door. “Please come in.”

Eggsy barely goes in far enough for Merlin to shut the door. “Listen, mate, I need to…”

“Let me prepare that tea.” Merlin goes into the tiny kitchen to put the kettle on. He bustles about, finding mugs and sugar and milk, while Eggsy stays motionless by the front door. 

“Merlin, please,” Eggsy says in a strangled voice. He’s trembling and just two steps away from bursting into tears. 

“Come, lad, take a seat. I might have some day old biscuits here somewhere.” Merlin opens a biscuit tin shaped like a cat. He smiles invitingly and waves Eggsy over.

That’s it. The dam breaks and Eggsy buries his face in his hands. His entire body shakes as he sobs, wracking sobs full of shame. Why isn’t Merlin furious? Why isn’t he screaming at Eggsy? Why didn’t he let the filth take him away? 

Eggsy jumps as strong arms go around him. “Shh, lad…it’s quite all right. Shh.” He gently rocks Eggsy side to side. Eggsy freezes in shock before allowing himself to enjoy the embrace for just a moment. Merlin finally pulls away and holds out a handkerchief. “I apologize for entering your personal space, lad, but ye needed it, I think.”

“Sorry for blubbering all over your vest,” Eggsy sniffles. “Can’t believe I broke down like a…”

“Like a young man who is obviously in a bit of a pickle?” Merlin asks. “Please come sit down.”

Eggsy finally obeys, wiping at his eyes and trying to get a hold of himself. “I’m so sorry, Merlin, please believe me. I never woulda…I didn’t…you ain’t been nothing but nice to me and I…I tried…” The tears threaten again and Eggsy blinks hard.

Merlin pours tea and hands him a cup. “Ye said ‘he’ was threatening you. Is this a friend, or an employer? Or perhaps a…a boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” Eggsy can’t help but hang on that word. How does Merlin know?

“I don’t mean to assume, I just…the way you look at me sometimes…not that there’s anything about you that says…other than my wishful thinking and fantasizing, that is.” Merlin stops stammering and clears his throat. “If anyone is threatening you, Eggsy, I would like to know who. Ye are too good of a person to allow someone to continue to…”

“It ain’t like that! I don’t got a boyfriend,” Eggsy blurts. Merlin winces and Eggsy babbles on, “Not because I don’t want one, or think they’re bad or nothing. I just…no one knows, because I ain’t really ever…boyfriends are great?” He finishes and Merlin finally smiles. “It’s my stepdad. Daisy’s father. Me and Mum been hiding everything I bring home from here, because if he thinks I got extra cash to buy fancy sweets, he’ll take it. We wasn’t quick enough today, and he…he threatened Daisy. Promised him I’d get lots of money if he just backed off. I’m really sorry, Merlin. That ain’t no kind of excuse for fucking ROBBING you. I was gonna pay you back, swear down. Was gonna really look for a job, keep out half my paycheck until I paid it all back.”

“I believe you, Eggsy.” Merlin pushes the milk and sugar at him. 

“You’ve been so fucking nice to me, and what did I do? I tried to rob you.” Eggsy slowly stirs his tea. “You shoulda turned me in. Let the filth take me.”

“I probably should have. As much as Harry loves teasing me about ye, I’m sure he would have agreed with you,” Merlin says with a nod. “But I couldn’t.”

Eggsy isn’t sure what part of all that he should address first, so he finally says, “But why?”

“I grew up on the wrong side of town in the wrong kind of family with a chip the size of Buckingham Palace on my shoulder. I was an angry young man, furious at the hand I’d been dealt. People were petrified of me. They actually crossed the street when I came strutting around with my mates.”

“You?” Eggsy asks in disbelief. Merlin, the man who makes fancy biscuits and ties ribbons into elaborate bows?

“Aye. It was all I knew how to do. I didn’t actually break many laws…not the serious ones, anyway. I was all talk, for the most part, but people heard me and were afraid. Until one day me and two of my mates were arsing around one night and they decide it would be fun to break the windows of a tiny bakery. I’d been going to this place my entire life. Everyone knew this bakery…they even provided bread to the local priest. I actually tried to talk them out of it, but then they ended up talking ME into it. I was standing there with a large rock in my hand, thinking about throwing it, when I remembered how kind the baker had always been to my mam. How he always sent along a few extra loaves for me and my sisters, saying that they were burned in the oven and he couldn’t possibly sell them. So I dropped my rock, opened my mouth to tell them to fuck off…and the door opens. They threw their rocks anyway…thankfully they didn’t hit him…and there I am. The baker brought me inside and I babbled at him just like ye were babbling to me. Not one businessman in that town would have believed my story…but he did.” Merlin smiles at the memory. “Not only did he allow me to work in his bakery to pay for the windows...even though I didn’t break the glass…but he kept me on as an apprentice and taught me everything I know.”

“Fuck,” Eggsy whispers, impressed by this story.

“So the least I could do to repay him for his generosity was helping you.”

“You said I’m a good person. You don’t know that.”

“Anyone who loves their baby sister the way you love your Daisy cannot help but be a good person.”

“Thank you.” Eggsy swallows hard. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” 

“You said something about wishful thinking and fantasizing, and I heard Harry one day say something about you giving away stuff to a bloke with a pretty face.” Merlin turns red. “Are you…I mean…”

“Yes, I am,” Merlin says calmly. Eggsy is amazed at how easily he admits it. No shame, nothing to hide. It’s part of him, just like his hazel eyes or bald head. 

“I think…no. I know. I am, too,” Eggsy admits. “I just…I only, uh, there was one bloke.”

“I understand,” Merlin says, and Eggsy knows he does. He sees it in Merlin’s eyes. Merlin knows how hard it was for him to admit it, and he gets it. “And in regards to what you asked…I think you are quite attractive. You brighten my day whenever you come into the shop. You’re handsome, you’re have a lovely body, and you have a charming personality. Harry knows me better than anyone and has thoroughly enjoyed teasing me about my crush on you.”

“Crush…on me?” Eggsy gasps.

“Aye…ridiculous. Ye are in your mid-twenties, and I am in my mid-fifties.”

“You don’t look it,” Eggsy interrupts. “You’re fit as fuck, Merlin. You got them beautiful eyes, and a great resting bitch face, and your arms are so strong. You…I noticed you the first day I came running in here.”

“Oh. Well.” Merlin turns pink all the way to the top of his head.

“And you been so nice to me…don’t deserve that.”

“I think ye do, lad.”

“Can you ever forgive me?” Eggsy asks softly. “I won’t ever do anything like it again, swear down.”

“I’ve already forgiven ye, lad,” Merlin promises. “Well, it’s late.” He pushes away from the table.”

“Fuck, you gotta get up in a few hours, yeah?”

“Yes, but tomorrow is Tuesday, my short day. I dinnae wish for ye to go back out at this hour…ye may kip on the sofa. Not the most comfortable, but ye are a bit shorter so perhaps ye will fit better than I do.” Merlin goes to a closet and comes back with a blanket.

“You want me to sleep here?”

“Aye. I would be happier knowing you were safe.”

“You ain’t real. You can’t be.”

Merlin smiles sadly. “Oh, I am quite real. Real and full of faults.”

“I don’t see any,” Eggsy whispers. He looks up at Merlin for a long moment. “Merlin, if…maybe…dunno what you’re doing tomorrow afternoon, but maybe we could, um, grab a bite?”

Merlin’s face actually lights up. “I would like that very much, Eggsy.”

Eggsy grabs a magnetic pad from the fridge and swipes a pen from the counter. “Here’s my number…text me when you’re free or whatever.”

“I will,” Merlin says with a grin. He pauses, studying Eggsy for a moment. “Wait. I have something for ye. I wish for ye to sleep as long as ye like tomorrow so I will give it to ye now. Ye can let yourself out when ye wake.” Merlin goes to the table and picks up Eggsy’s sack. “Here.”

“Wot? NO, bruv, this is your money. I can’t take this!”

“I insist. If it will buy ye time with your stepfather…”

“I can’t, Merlin. I just can’t. I won’t do that to you. I know the shop don’t make that much.”

“I worry about ye, Eggsy,” Merlin says.

“I’ll figure something out. Just…no.” Eggsy pushes the bag at Merlin’s chest, surges up onto his toes and gives Merlin a quick kiss. “No, thank you, okay?”

“Okay,” Merlin says dazedly. “Well, sweet dreams, then.”

“Sweet dreams.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Merlin ambles down the hall, sack of money still tightly held against his chest. Eggsy grins to himself, toes off his shoes, and lays down on the sofa. He pulls up the blanket and inhales, smelling Merlin all over it. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

Eggsy sleeps like the dead, waking only when he feels the ghost of a kiss across his forehead. He smiles sleepily and drifts back off again, hearing a gentle, “have a good day, lad” in his dreams. When he finally pulls himself to a seated position he rubs at his eyes and digs for his mobile. Almost half-ten. Holy fuck. He immediately responds to the barrage of texts he’s received from his mother demanding to know where he is. He promises he’s safe, ending his text with about fifteen heart emojis to hopefully calm her down. He stands and stretches, and wanders off in search of the loo.

Once he’s relieved himself and washed his hands and face he wets his fingers and dries to do something with his hair. He wistfully looks at Merlin’s toothbrush but no. No way. Not yet. It’s only then that he sees a note taped to the wall by the mirror. _Extra toothbrush under the sink, feel free to use it._ Eggsy opens the tiny door and finds a new toothbrush still in the box.

“Thanks, Merlin,” Eggsy mutters, eagerly wetting the toothbrush.

Eggsy gets himself together and leaves the flat, making sure to lock the door behind him. As he looks down the tiny hall he realizes he isn’t sure how to get out. He’s sure Merlin has a door so he doesn’t always have to enter and exit through the shop, but Eggsy doesn’t know where it is. He finally just takes a deep breath and goes down the way he came in. He peeks into the kitchen and sees Harry hard at work with a tube of icing in his hand. He waits until Harry pulls away from the counter before clearing his throat. Harry whirls around, eyebrows going up in surprise. “Well, good morning, Eggsy. I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Well, I, uh…Merlin let me…” Eggsy waves in the general direction of the flat.

“Oh, I know ALL about it.” Harry isn’t smiling. “I just meant I didn’t expect you to come through the shop.”

“Didn’t know how else to leave.”

“Ah. I see.” Harry turns back to his biscuits.

“Okay, well, have a nice day.” Eggsy heads for the door.

“If you hurt him in any way, Mr. Unwin, I will make sure to hurt you ten times worse,” Harry says from behind him.

Eggsy freezes. “I, yeah. Got it.”

He pushes the door and enters the shop. “Harry, it’s about time ye…oh. Eggsy. Hello.” Merlin’s face lights up again. Eggsy could get used to that. No one looks that happy to see him except Daisy. 

“I, um, I wasn’t sure where the, uh, door…” Eggsy stammers. Merlin looks so handsome in his jumper and grey trousers.

“Of course. I’m sorry…I should have explained all that to you, but it was late and I think we were both fairly exhausted.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ll let you to it, then.” Eggsy inches for the door, not really wishing to leave.

“If I could have a word with ye?” Merlin asks.

“Course.”

Merlin comes out from around the counter. “I have a suggestion that I wish to make, and I only ask that ye hear me out entirely.”

“Okay,” Eggsy says slowly.

“I’ve talked it over with Harry, since he is part owner of the shop. He’s apprehensive, of course, but has given his approval…tentatively. I’m afraid ye have not made the best impression on him in the last twelve hours.”

“Can’t blame him,” Eggsy says glumly.

“If I understand things correctly, your stepfather is very interested in money ye bring into the home, correct?” Eggsy nods. “And he apparently doesn’t care where it comes from.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“What if it came from this shop?”

“Bruv, I told you. I ain’t taking…”

“Ye would nae be taking anything. Ye would be earning it…as a paid employee.” Merlin bounces on his heels a bit.

“You’re…you’re offering me a job?”

“Aye…and not out of the kindness of my heart. While Percival, Harry and I are by no means old, there are certain things we dinnae do as well or as quickly. Ye are young, strong, and fit. Ye could crawl where we can’t crawl, lift what we have problems lifting. It would nae be easy, lad. Ye would be doing the dirty work. Scrubbing, wiping, cleaning. Emptying rubbish bins, hosing down the back lot. It is necessary work that would free us to do other things.”

“I…you’re offering me a job?” Eggsy repeats dumbly.

“I am. And if ye do well with that, if ye were interested, we could start to train ye in the kitchen.”

“I could learn to bake things like you?” Eggsy asks breathlessly.

“Well…no one bakes like me.” Merlin winks at him.

“A job,” Eggsy whispers. His mother would be so happy. It would get Dean off his back, and he can just imagine Daisy’s face when he brings her to the place where he works. “I…you sure Harry’s on board?”

“Barely on board, but I think ye will soon convince him that ye are nae simply a thief.”

“I ain’t,” Eggsy vows. 

“I think it might also help if ye spoke with Percival.” Eggsy makes a confused face. “He is a solicitor.”

“But you said…”

“He helps out here when he can, but that is his actual job. He could perhaps make some suggestions regarding your stepfather.”

“Maybe,” Eggsy hedges. He ain’t gonna start grassing, even if Dean is a walking talking wankstain. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Excellent. We can discuss it more when we meet in a few hours.” For the first time Merlin’s smile falters. “Ye still wish for us to have lunch, or dinner, or tea, or whatever meal is appropriate?”

“I definitely do,” Eggsy says eagerly. Merlin’s face lights up again. “But I gotta go home, shower and change.” He sighs. “Dunno what to say, Merlin. You ain’t like anyone I ever met.”

“That is most definitely the truth, lad.” Merlin’s eyes darken, his voice drops, and something stirs in Eggsy’s groin. “I will text ye when I am through here.”

“Okay.” Eggsy holds out his hand, since he can’t kiss Merlin right here in the shop. Merlin takes it and gently trails his fingers over the inside of Eggsy’s wrist.

When Eggsy exits the shop he looks up at the sign over the door. The Magic Kitchen. Yes. There’s definitely something magic about this place…and its owner.


End file.
